Wednesday, July 18, 2007

A letter to my pants

Dear Jeans,

I like you jeans, I think you know that everyone likes you. I'm just saying that during the summer it's really hard to wear you. It's nothing personal, I just don't think that you, me, and the summer really get along. I know that you have seen me with shorts, and with khakis and you must be wondering when your turn will come. I guess what I'm trying to say is that maybe we should take a break, at least until September. It's just not working out right now, you're too thick, and those holes on the butt that I didn't really care about originally, well now they're kind of annoying. I hope there's no hard feelings, and I hope we can be friends during the other months. You know, the way it is with sweaters and jackets, those guys go through this every year and they're cool. I understand that you need some time, and you can have all the time you need. I'll give you a nice home next to the sweaters, hey, it can be your summer vacation.

So goodbye until Labor day, I wish you all the best.


Fat Guy

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


I sweat

A lot

Thursday, July 05, 2007


Batman let Robin die

I let another bird die.

Remember when I saved that bird in Milford, I thought I was pretty good at saving birds. Well a couple weeks after that I realized that it was my sworn duty to save birds, I let one fall through the cracks.

He was a baby bird, couldn't even fly, all alone on the steps of the E. Broadway subway stop. I just walked by, I never did anything, I let him die.

That's when I knew that I was called to save all birds.

Except chickens, which are delicious.


I know, it's been a long time since my last post, sorry, I've been busy.

You know those moments when you are conflicted, the times you don't really know which way to turn? The other day I was riding the L train and playing Tetris on my ipod, but this time I was playing for keeps. Ever since I beat the individual levels I have been trying to beat the whole game in succession, and I was almost there, UNTIL. I swear to god the craziest old lady walked onto the train and sat directly across from me. She sauntered into my life dressed like a cross between a maniac and a clown who was drowned in a swamp of perfume and sweat. She was wearing a huge red hat, a mask of make-up, and the kind of outfit you buy from CVS on Halloween. She was talking to her friend who was sitting next to me who was kind of normal crazy, but this woman across from me was seriously awesome crazy. I've seen crazy people before, but nothing like this. On any day, the decision would be easy, stare at this woman, however today I was so close to winning Tetris, so close to finishing something I had started three months ago, something I was working on everyday on the train, something I poured all my idle time into. I just couldn't decide what to do, finish the game, or stare awkwardly at the craziest woman alive. I think I made the right decision, I looked, and holy shit it was amazing.

So now I've started from scratch, again, but it was worth it, crazy worth it.