ROCKDEATH

Some people may not know who this blog is named after. Well, it's named after my cousin, ROCKDEATH.

ROCKDEATH was born in East Germany in 1972 and devoted his life to "rocking das ballsens" which loosely translates to rocking your balls off.

ROCKDEATH believed that he was a "Captain of the Rock & Roll ship of dreams" and spent all his energy touring the world, "rocking das peoples" and trying to bring the wall down. He continued to tour even after the Berlin wall came down, mostly in South America. Shortly after his death in 2007 it was learned that ROCKDEATH never knew that the wall actually did come down.

ROCKDEATH was my cousin and we looked alike which lead to a lot of confusion whenever he was around.

ROCKDEATH visited a few times before his death, wreaking havoc on my apartment and my friends, both male & female. One whiff of ROCKDEATH's pungent stench would send most people into a sexual fervor.

Riddled with STDs, whenever ROCKDEATH entered a room, everyone contracted a myriad of exotic diseases simply by being in his presence.

ROCKDEATH was an amazing artist known for his marathon solo performances. He would go from playing millions of people in an open air stadium, to playing for the planet in the center of the jungle, or alone atop a remote mountain.

ROCKDEATH "died" during one of these performances with witnesses reporting that he simply vanished while executing one of the most intricate song arrangements ever devised. There have been unconfirmed reports that ROCKDEATH rose from the dead three days after his final epic performance. Evidence of this resurrection remains inconclusive.