Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Kaufee and Eggs

You should figure out how to bookmark things RIGHT NOW!


If you like the gibberish of this blog, check out my award winning "podcast"

Friday, March 07, 2008


I went to my first awards show last night.

This guy played, it was pretty cool.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Wednesday, March 05, 2008


Guess how many donuts I ate yesterday.

Now guess how many donuts I had the opportunity to eat.

Monday, March 03, 2008


I have so much yogurt inside me right now, I ate a 2 pound tub because it was delicious, and I'm a dude who likes his yogurt. I like yogurt so much that in junior high I almost got beaten up for it.

I was in 7th grade, sitting outside, waiting for a late bus or maybe my mom was coming to pick me up, I forget and it's not important, the important part was the fact that I was out there alone. There was a group of 8th graders hanging out next to me making fun of yogurt, seems silly but they were. They were talking about how it's not really a food. I wasn't going to say anything, I was gonna let it ride, but the big guy, we'll call him Noplait, came over and asked if I like yogurt. I had to answer truthfully, "Yeah, it's pretty good" I said.

He laughed, probably said I was gay, and he threw my hat. I didn't fight him back or anything like that, cause I couldn't, I think I just said something like "really, yogurt?" picked up my hat and walked away.

The yogurt I ate tonight was called Friendship yogurt, isn't that nice?

Saturday, March 01, 2008

In Chinatown

all the plastic bags are orange, no where else.

Friday, February 15, 2008



Thanks Jason for showing me the site where you made all that extra cash. I was wondering how you were able to afford your extravagant lifestyle.

Orange Soda

You know what's good, orange soda, it's delicious.

Thursday, February 14, 2008


When I was in kindergarten I was asked who my heroes were. I think I was supposed to say "my mom and dad" but instead I said Indiana Jones. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

Monday, February 04, 2008


Well that didn't work out.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Meigs Raid!

You guys in New York should buy me a drink, my family saved this place!

Meigs Raid (also known as the Battle of Sag Harbor) was guerrilla raid by American forces on the British at Sag Harbor, New York on May 23, 1777 during the American Revolutionary War in which six British were killed and 90 captured while the Americans suffered no casualties.

The battle marked the first American victory in New York after New York City and Long Island had fallen in the Battle of Long Island.

American Lt. Col. Return Jonathan Meigs led the attack by rowing 130 men across Long Island Sound from Guilford, Connecticut. To avoid British patrol boats they ported their boats over a narrow section of North Fork, Suffolk County, New York in Southold, New York near what is now Hashamomuck Beach before entering Southold Bay to Shelter Island Sound about 6 p.m. before arriving in Sag Habor at 2 a.m. [1] where they burned 12 British boats in the harbor on the East Hampton (town), New York side and the storming the British earth works that the British had commandeered at the Old Burying Grounds on a hill on Southampton (town), New York side of Sag Habor.[2]

The land attack was conducted in silence with fixed bayonnets and only one shot was said to have been fired. A British schooner opened fire on the attackers as they burned the ships. The raiders took 53 prisoners at the earth works and another 37 at the wharf (and suffered no casualties). The prisoners were taken back to Connecticut.[3]

The raiders left Guilford, Connecticut

A stone was placed on the site on May 23, 1902, commemorating the battle.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Not back on the map

Wait a minute, I just realized that my map doesn't even have Antarctica on it. I think that's bullshit. I figure scientists down there need to get on the internet and check blogs like mine. I wonder if that's what they talk about while their taking ice cores on the west Antarctic ice sheet.

Scientist 1 "You know, that Rock Death guy sounds pretty crazy"
Scientist 2 "Yeah I know, I wish he would play for us here"
Head Scientist "Hey guys, I know you want to talk about dude rock death all day, but we have ice samples to check"
Scientist 1 "I guess you're right, man I can't believe he peed on his floor"
All "YEAH!"

Or maybe something like this?

Alien 1 "blark blark bleek bloong blark dude rock death blark bleenk blink"
Predator 1 "gleek glork Rock Death gleek gleek glunk"

McMurdo Station

Check the map, we now have Africa. The last continent I need is Antarctica, so I hope someone at McMurdo Station is interested in learning about my cousin or the time I peed in my room. Stella, are you ever going to fly to McMurdo?

In other news, I don't have heat in my apartment, my room is almost the same temperature as it is outside. I'm assuming this is what it's like at McMurdo Station. I'm sure they have heat but decide not to use it too much because when you have nice long underwear why not just chill out in your onesie with a butt-flap?

If anyone needs me I'll be in my sleeping bag checking my email.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

New Years Resolutions

My resolution for 2007 was to hold a monkey, it didn't happen.

My resolution for 2008 is to hug a bear, if anyone can help me out with this one, let me know.

Looking ahead, my resolution for 2009 will be high-fiving a tiger.