Conversations with Will, Part III

7/19/06

me: hide the rest of my yams...
Will: close up shop
do my count
leave the rest of the yams
at my auntie house
and then what?
me: I thought he hid his yams
Will: good call
I think he does
me: awesome

Conversations with Will, Part II

6/2/06

me: any Jelly news?
Will: no how was amsterdam?
me: rainy
lots of canals
cheap Heineken
0 cool dogs
Will: lame did you go to weed bars
me: walked by them, they're everywhere
Will: did you pound absinth
me: you know it, I'm freaking out right now
you at a job?
Will: no i skipped out of work early
me: where do you work
Will: charlestown, i work with a research group. i hook lasers up to peoples heads and then inflict pain on them to see what parts of the brain get activated
me: awesome

Balls?

Abbie: He's a physician and you have these in your mouth.

Eric: Balls?

(The answer is Dr. Teeth)

Conversations with Will, Part I

7/7/06

(Conversation about Zooperstars, www.zooperstars.com)

me: Mackeral Jordan
Will: henry the puffy taco
donovan mccrab
peyton manatee
nomar garciaparrot
ichiroach suzuki
derek cheetah
christina agorilla
me: Roger Clamens
Clammy Sosa
Paul Krilliotis
Will: tracy mcgraydeer
mike bison
me: I'm done
Will: krill?
me: whale's eat it
Will: via baleen
me: Paul Spiliotis is a star
Will: he never answered if cool dog has a name or not
me: you're right, I guess we can assume NO
Will: assume nothing
me: maybe his name is Cool Dog
but that would be an assumption
Will: word
cool moe dee has the first name cool
so its not unheard of
me: true
cool - io
Will: joe cool
last name though
snoop dogg and nate dog are named dog
me: maybe he's an amalgamation of cool moe dee and snoop dogg?
Will: that would make sense
me: print it and mail it to Paul
Will: he probably wont answer
me: never does, but I think he needs to know that we care
Will: wow paul is pretty sensitive
me: geniuses always are.

Fish & Lamb

I just realized that I've been eating fish and lamb a lot lately.

And fucking Buffalo Wings. (eating, not fucking)

Also I'm proud of Lisa for keeping the "I kill everything I fuck" lyric alive at the UCB.

I Hope

I hope that this conversation has happened, or will happen;

My Dad's friend: What's your son doing these days?

My Dad: He's some douche bag's assistant.


FINGERS CROSSED!

Yup, I peed on my floor

Here's a story that will probably disgust you;

Two weekends ago when I drove back from NH, I parked my car and ran into my apartment because I had to pee really bad. Andy was in the bathroom, I think he was taking a shower, and I absolutely could not wait. I went to my room and grabbed a large empty vitamin water bottle, now for those of you new to this, I am a huge fan of the pee bottle, and have a lot of pee bottle stories.

I peed in the bottle, but more than a little bit made it to the floor, this has never happened. Unfazed, I cleaned it up, and sprayed my floor with some kind of cleaning liquid, then moved on.

So yeah, I peed on my floor.

Ps. I put the bottle on the street, I hope homeless people prefer gatorade.

Bikes

I've been slacking on riding my bike lately, it's gotten to the point where riding the train is a welcome respite from riding my bike. It started out because of the snow and slush, and the fact that I didn't want to ride through it. Now I just want to sit on the train and play Tetris on my Ipod. I'm telling myself that this is just a weeks vacation from the bike so I can relax a little. Next week I'll be back on the attack.

Maybe if I overcome cancer I'll be more motivated to ride again, worked for Lance Armstrong.

I don't know how to "get" cancer.

Long Road Trips

"Going on long road trips can really be a hell-ride, going on long road trips can be a demon hell-ride" Wesley Willis

Drove to West Virginia last weekend, it was a demon hell ride.

Left New York on Friday around 11:30 a.m.

Discovered that most of the major highways in Pennsylvania were closed due to ice.

Drove the icy back roads of Pennsylvania.

Made it to the Pennsylvania Turnpike, hit the tail end of a gas tanker explosion.

Made it to the Maryland/West Virginia mountains around 10:00 p.m.

Drove through the town of Accident

Made it through the winding snow covered mountain roads of Maryland and West Virginia.

Arrived at Timberline ski resort around 11:30 p.m.

Skiing was fun, big houses are fun, Bubba was fun.

Woke up Sunday morning, and drove to D.C. through a snowstorm, on those same wonderfully unpaved West Virginia/Maryland mountain roads. Seriously, they were treacherous, and they get a lot of snow down there.

Drove back to NYC on Monday.

I like to complain, but is was all worth it.

Couple things

Last weekend was crazy

Penn Station at 3:00 a.m. is the homeless World Series

Having a car in Brooklyn, isn't that hard

I woke up at 6:00 a.m. to move my car

The Wii is amazing

Everyone in my apartment is sick, and passing a sweaty controller

The Sarah Silverman show last night was wall to wall AIDS jokes

AIDS jokes



I'm going to West Virginia today

West Virginia

KR Ewing

Sometimes I call Kyle KR Ewing.

Thanks Kyle

Just got back from the Jolly Madison, glad Kyle was keeping everyone informed and safe.

This is Kyle

This is Kyle, John went to the Jolly Madison because he's a swell character. I sit across from John, we eat chicken wings together.

People

Do people read this shit?

SHEEPSHA

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Dodged the Bullet

Long ago I thought a string of power chords would be a good substitute for an extension chord, I found out last night that this wasn't true. Apparently the death smell in my room, that I smelled three weeks ago, and has kept me from using my space heater was my melted power chord all along, YES! So terrific, I almost burned my apartment down, didn't realize it, and kept using the power chord for THREE WEEKS.

I also melted the side of our fridge during the SuperBowl / PuppyBowl.

I FOUND THE SMELL

Details to follow, it's more dangerous than you think!

Space Heater

Last night as I was close to shivering in my room, I decided I would give my space heater a second chance. I did my best to clean it last week, thinking the fire/death smell was coming from "hot dust". It still smells like death, but now I think it's more of a electrical fire/death smell as opposed to a hot dust/death smell.

Long story short, I unplugged everything in my room, and slept in my sleeping bag.

Which brings me to my sleeping bag story. I woke up in the middle of the night outside of the sleeping bag, I must have subconciously crawled out, which I remember happening a lot in the woods. That means I could probably get out of any dangerous situation, as long as I was asleep and in that dangerous situation.

Makes sense to me.

Frostnip

Beards aren't a lot of fun in the winter and I'm just discovering this now. People think that beards keeps your face warm, which they probably do, but they also get covered in tiny icicles that bond all the hairs together. It's kinda like covering your face with really sticky tape, then ripping it off over and over again. I'm not complaining, I just want people to know.

I HATE

The person who stole my bike seat.